Mediation is an option chosen typically due to parties not being able to discuss and resolve issues adequately. This implies a need for parties to develop more Communication Skills. Communication is dependent on a calm, clear inner self. When one is in this grounded state, one is able to speak freely, honestly, unattached to the response of the other party. It also allows hearing points of view that may differ from one's own, without being in negative reactivity. Communication is the skill requiring inner peacefulness and groundedness, honesty and openness.
Communication is also a Process. It grows, it changes, it flows like a stream. There may be twists and turns. There maybe disagreement. There may be emotional responses one notices in oneself and in the other/s. These may be pleasant &/or unpleasant, welcome &/or hard to bear.
Communication does not require Agreement, Resignation, Winning or Losing. Rather it is a process of coming to terms with what Is, the Reality of a situation. And in time, without pressure, finding a way for all parties' needs to be met. Focus of InnerPiecePeace Mediation will be to create Listening to one another Express first off. The point of Expressing is to communicate one's experience, point of view. The point of Expressing & Listening is to be heard correctly. Expressing and Listening are done simply to speak and hear plainly and clearly. Neither are done for the sake of convincing the other party to take or agree with one's point of view, to be' Right.' Resolution comes via the Process of Expressing and Listening Sanely. A great deal of Clarity and Understanding can come as a result.
The need arises for mediation due to not being able to Express &Listen Sanely. Triggers occur. We speak and hear through our own triggers and / or amidst the other's triggers. Triggers contain negative energy and messages. No one can take in negative messages. Negative messages are an assault. They interrupt and interfere with normal receptive brain functioning. Negative messages convey 'danger and violence.' Therefore the brain changes gears when it encounters these vibrations.
In InnerPiecePeace Mediation: One learns to identify one's triggers. One gets to know oneself on a deeper level. Things are slowed way down through mediation. So that one can actually see, experience and recognize the subtleties produced via triggers. One comes to know why and how it is that triggered energy lacks sanity, lacks the capacity to speak with clarity and respect.
Triggers are seen as neither good nor bad. They just 'Are.' They are part of our wiring, part of our Conditioning, part of our Habit-Patterns, part of our Ego's way of Reacting.
Triggered Habit-Patterns are a way we have functioned in order to protect ourselves, in order to get our needs met, in order to create success.
Triggers, being an aspect of Ego, have an Unconciousness about them. They are very 'me-oriented.' Very much like a small child having a temper tantrum in order to get what s/he wants, regardless of others involved. They are actually an immature way of behaving.
In short, triggered responses are most likelywhat has brought one to mediation. Which is a good thing, as it is a Step, an Opportunity to Learn how to Communicate in a way that works, By Examining the Habit Patterns Which Are Not Working.
Realizing and Accepting that most of us are functioning at times through these Trigger Habit-Patterns.
That through Accepting, not Condemning, we can make changes, overcome the obstacles to harmonious communication, effective problem-solving, & conflict resolution.
When we have been offended, we are upset enough "to actually want to Condemn the other," says our Pain Body. "How dare they!" Yes, this is one's Defense. One's Pain Body / Ego's way of taking care of oneself, protecting. Basically Offense / Defense is War. Whether 'winner' or 'loser,' there remains bloodshed and wounding, often regret, and usually Discontent. Fear is bred. Pain and suffering ensue. Conflict remains on some level, even if set aside, buried, repressed, forgotten about. Unhealed Wounds and scars resulting from unresolved conflict.
Inner Piece Peace Mediation is not looking to an outsider, a third party to manage the parties involved. Rather it is a Learning Process. Each party learns to Witness what is going on within themselves. Responses & Reactions to one's own thoughts, feelings, emotions become visible, known, seen as do the thoughts, feelings, emotions of another.
One learns what does not work, One learns to find & adjust to what does work. This is a process of becoming empowered, independent and effective in the face of adversity, conflict, challenge. This is a process which leads to the capacity to mediate challenges oneself. It relies mostly on the capacity to be Present within oneself. To have the Inner Space in which to dwell, without pressure, without answers, to Be With whatever is arising, whatever Is in this Moment. To take as many Moments within this Space forRecognizing and Identifying what is arising Now. The process of InnerPeicePeace Mediation is one of developing Communication skills in order to find resolution, The Key lies in Strengthening one's capacity to remain Present.
Where Ego's trigger habit patterns have been the strongest, One learns to watch as waves of thought, emotion come. One learns to Recognize, Identify these typically troublesome thoughts and emotions. One remembers that each of these are simply waves, which rise & fall.
One also gets familiar with the fact that what causes suffering stems from Falsehood.
Developing the ability to bear these uncomfortable waves brings an opportunity to examine if they are True or not.
Much like untangling a knotted, twisted thread, the processes mentioned here allow us to get at and work with the root of conflict, an Ego/Pain Body run enterprise The result of this Practice is Groundedness, Clarity, Ease and Harmony in Expressing and Listening and Problem-solving. The core emphasis again is this pivotal axis of strengthening one's sense of Presence.